SF Chronicle Article on Finding a Sex Positive Doctor

I was quoted this week in Violet Blue’s  SF Chronicle column, “The Sex Doctor is Out,” about how to find physicians and therapists who are knowledgable about sexual information. Violet talked about her own horror stories hearing of people who receive inaccurate or judgmental sex information from their providers. In this article, Violet also interviewed Dr. Charlie Glickman, Ph.D., who recently wrote a great article called, “Spread the Word: Kinky is NOT a Diagnosis.”

One point of clarification: I mentioned that sex-positive health care was something that isn’t just for sexual minorities but is something deserved by heterosexual, monogamous, and vanilla people. I want to make it clear that my intention was to acknowledge these as distinct identities, not to make it sound as though I was lumping heterosexual, monogamous, and vanilla people into one category. Of course, there are plenty of kinky straight people, monogamous and vanilla queer people, and so on. I’ll go further to say that people who are celibate deserve care that is respectful of their choices and lifestyle and a safe place to talk about their sexual thoughts or questions.

Some of the resources I shared are included on my own Resources page, including Gaylesta for LGBT folks seeking a therapist in the Bay Area and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), an international site for people seeking psychotherapeutic, medical, and legal professionals who are informed about the diversity of consensual, adult sexuality. NCSF also hosts a directory for Kink-Aware Professionals. Another good resource if you’re a poly-identified person is the Poly-Friendly Professionals page.

3 Responses to “SF Chronicle Article on Finding a Sex Positive Doctor”

  1. NY Mag’s “He’s Just Not That Into Anyone” – New Scare Trend On Male Porn Use | SlutCash

    […] If you’re checking out during partnered sex, first ask yourself who this is a problem for. And what would you like to do about it? That’s where you start. Then ask yourself the hard question of what would you like to see happening instead. If the answer is that you’d rather be alone jacking off to porn, then go get it out of your system. Don’t set a time limit on how long that might take. And don’t damn yourself to a relationship where you will never get your fantasies and desires met (hey – you can even use porn together). If you’re crazy-hot for pegging or BDSM or deep throat or anal, and you know your partner would never do that, you MUST decide if you can live with this, or if it’s time to do some couples’ counseling, or time to find someone who really wants to know who you are, and share that. If you want professional feedback, find a sex-positive therapist. […]

    Reply
  2. NY Mag’s “He’s Just Not That Into Anyone” – New Scare Trend On Male Porn Use (Violet Blue)

    […] If you’re checking out during partnered sex, first ask yourself who this is a problem for. And what would you like to do about it? That’s where you start. Then ask yourself the hard question of what would you like to see happening instead. If the answer is that you’d rather be alone jacking off to porn, then go get it out of your system. Don’t set a time limit on how long that might take. And don’t damn yourself to a relationship where you will never get your fantasies and desires met (hey – you can even use porn together). If you’re crazy-hot for pegging or BDSM or deep throat or anal, and you know your partner would never do that, you MUST decide if you can live with this, or if it’s time to do some couples’ counseling, or time to find someone who really wants to know who you are, and share that. If you want professional feedback, find a sex-positive therapist. […]

    Reply
  3. NY Mag’s “He’s Just Not That Into Anyone” – New Scare Trend On Male Porn Use (Violet Blue) | Eros Daily Musings and Digressions

    […] If you’re checking out during partnered sex, first ask yourself who this is a problem for. And what would you like to do about it? That’s where you start. Then ask yourself the hard question of what would you like to see happening instead. If the answer is that you’d rather be alone jacking off to porn, then go get it out of your system. Don’t set a time limit on how long that might take. And don’t damn yourself to a relationship where you will never get your fantasies and desires met (hey – you can even use porn together). If you’re crazy-hot for pegging or BDSM or deep throat or anal, and you know your partner would never do that, you MUST decide if you can live with this, or if it’s time to do some couples’ counseling, or time to find someone who really wants to know who you are, and share that. If you want professional feedback, find a sex-positive therapist. […]

    Reply

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