Those who want control over Locations should take the following steps.

1. Log into your Facebook account and in the upper right hand corner where it shows Account, click on that and drag down to Privacy Settings.

2. Here you will see what you are sharing on Facebook. Check to see what is selected for Places I Check In which may be set up as “Everyone,” Friends of Friends,” or “Friends Only.”

(Clicking on all images will let you view them in large size.)

3. If you want to modify the setting, click on Customize Settings at the bottom.

4. This will bring you to the following screen.

5. If you want the greatest level of privacy, you would make sure three things are selected here:

First, make sure “Only Me” is selected for “Places I Check In.”

Second, Disable “Include me in People Here Now” after I check in. Enabling this will allow others to see if you are at the venue (feel free to click the “See an example” link on Facebook to see what this will look like to anyone else checking in).

Third, at the bottom, make sure “Friends can check me into Places” is Disabled.

You can read more about the new feature and the concerns of others on mashable and also on Violet Blue’s blog in which she publicized the potential problem raised by @RodBegbie about what happens when someone adds your home address as a venue on Facebook. It sounds as though users will have to go through a tedious process of flagging a venue and then waiting for Facebook to respond in order to get their personal information removed.

Media psychology

To begin with, let’s be clear that media psychology has some competing definitions.

A new generation of media psychologists is fighting to make clear distinctions between the traditional view of media psychologists: clinical psychologists who appear in the media (for example, on talk shows and reality TV) and those who actually specialize in both media technologies and psychological theory who are studying the uses, experiences, and impact of media on our lives.

This post focuses on the former understanding of media psychology, and not the latter. It is geared towards clinicians who are venturing into social media with the intention of interacting with online audiences.

Many psychotherapists don’t consider a social media presence to be similar to having a television or radio show with thousands of audience members. In fact, most of us start out blogging and tweeting to an audience of zero, never sure how many readers will eventually see our sites. Fewer of us have received any training in media psychology.

However, if you’re a psychotherapist using social media to promote your practice or provide mental health related information, don’t fool yourself: you are acting as a media professional. Social media has become one of the fastest ways to reach an audience, and it often leads to other opportunities to educate and connect with the general public (e.g., interviews, public speaking, and writing articles). It’s important to recognize that your media presence can quickly expand in ways you may have never anticipated.

If you’d like to use your blog or Twitter to broadcast health information, it’s smart to do some research and learn about the ethical responsibilities and potential conflicts that can arise when acting as a media professional. This post will introduce you to some things you should consider when creating a social media presence.

What is your role with your subscribers, readers, and followers?

Who is your audience and how do you plan to interact with them? Are they potential clients? Are they other mental health professionals? Are you educating people about mental health in general, or about your specific areas of focus? Are you trying to give an impression of how you work to market your services? Perhaps you simply want to pose questions to an audience of other clinicians about areas of research, best practices, or challenging aspects of clinical care?

Establishing a professional relationship

If your goal is to encourage potential clients to contact you, you need to take care in how you respond to those making public clinical contact with you. It is easy to violate confidentiality and create an archived record of such a violation when responding to someone asking about becoming your client.

Here is an example: as more people follow me on Twitter, I sometimes scan my @reply list of messages and see replies from people asking about whether they can schedule a session. Others will post public messages and ask how I might diagnose their symptoms. Obviously, we cannot begin a clinical relationship in public and DM-ing (direct messaging) a potential client on Twitter is unwise since it is a non-secure site. Lastly, of course, we may not want to appear rude by ignoring the request entirely.

But it’s not always practical to respond to every query, and certainly not in public.

My best solution has been to Tweet a general reminder now and then that I cannot respond on Twitter to any requests to engage my services and that the best way for people to contact me if they are interested in becoming clients is to directly phone my office and schedule a phone interview.

Some of the legal issues involved in managing potential clients on blogs or other websites are addressed by Recupero (2006). She points out that advice-giving over the phone may be enough to establish a doctor-patient relationship and that responding to email may also create a legal duty. Therapists who enable and respond to comments on blogs, or who reply to postings on Twitter should be mindful as to the potential for such responses to be read as prescriptive or advice-giving. Give thought to whether you wish to engage this level of clinical contact, along with the legal and ethical responsibilities that follow.

Also be aware that other risks arise when current patients use such forums to interact with you. These interactions may become a part of the patient’s legal chart. One way I address this is by outlining in my Social Media Policy that current clients should not use social media sites to interact with me, and that they should use the phone instead.

Responding to Interview and Guest Writing Requests

Getting your point across

Sometimes, someone who has read your blog or seen your Twitterstream may contact you to request your participation in an interview. You may be comfortable with print media but not radio or televised appearances. Anyone considering doing live, taped media appearances should should strongly consider obtaining consultation on managing media appearances. For any interview, request an advance list of the types of questions they plan to ask. This will help you prepare and collect your thoughts. Then make your own list of main points you want to be sure to address. This can help prevent the painful experience of later finding your well-intentioned thoughts misquoted or feeling that you missed an opportunity to get your message across.

Some people do email interviews which can give you the chance to be careful and thorough and edit your responses. But most print interviews still happen over the phone. Be attentive about not being led astray or talking about off-limit issues whether they be about your incomplete data findings or specific clinical examples that could reveal more than you intend. Many interviewers are sensitive and respectful to those in our profession, but some people may be persistent about digging for a story and you need to have good boundaries in such scenarios. This can be challenging to a media newcomer.

Some interviewers will provide you with a draft or your comments to review pre-publication and this is a good time to clarify if you feel you’ve misspoken. But many media sites will not grant you this opportunity, so you’ll want your first shot to be fairly focused.

Maintaining confidentiality and obtaining informed consent

Be extremely thoughtful when you are asked to share clinical examples. Some people may invite you to chat or write stories about your experiences with your clients. Prepare in advance for how you plan to respond. Consider what it will be like for any of your clients to read the story or interview later.

If you are invited to speak or to give a training to a group of professionals, be advised that many such lectures now get recorded, webcast, and tweeted. This means that you are no longer simply presenting to the group of people who is in the room with you, but your presentation may reach many people who you cannot see, and people may access it later.

Some clinicians believe that if you obtain a client’s consent, if you mask the identifying details, or if you show a draft of the writing to the client and let him approve it, it is permissible to share such clinical material with the media in certain contexts. Other clinicians are highly protective of what happens in-session. These clinicians believe that even asking for client consent or participation in the creation of such documents is intrusive and contaminating of the therapy process. It certainly could be perceived by some clients that your own media pursuits or desire for success are eclipsing your commitment to their clinical care. It pays to be prudent and to weigh clinical considerations before thinking about potential benefits to others or to your visibility.

If you do plan to regularly blog, tweet, or speak to news sources about any of your casework, you should first obtain informed consent from your clients. Clients need to be made aware that this is something you do and they should understand what your procedures are to ensure their privacy and confidentiality. You do not want your clients to be surprised to find any details of their work with you that you have been posting without their knowledge and consent, even if you are masking identifying information.

Providing commentary on public figures or news items

One opportunity media psychologists have is to educate the public about the ethics and responsibilities of our profession. Those of us providing outreach to the general public are frequently asked to comment on news items or public figures. I’ve had followers on Twitter ask for my professional opinion on celebrity behavior. Rather than ignoring these queries, I use such requests as chances to explain that I cannot ethically offer diagnostic impressions about people I have not assessed or treated. Further, I explain that when someone does utilize my services, their treatment stays confidential.

Responses of this nature can provide an important counter-example to many of the pop-psychology figures in the media. The public may get the impression that clinicians are delighted to offer diagnostic assessments of people they’ve never evaluated. We have to take care not to comment on such things and this can be a teaching moment for the public, about what we do and our ethical standards.

That said, we can, of course, offer general psychoeducational information to others, and there are often ways to reframe our responses to these questions so that we can provide helpful information to others.

Other issues related to client rights and dignity

Whose status update is this anyway?

Some people may believe that even on locked accounts, it is safe to blog or Tweet about cases.

Remember that friend networks are not consultation groups. Even without names, sex, or ages in a post, if you mention the presenting issue or even when the client has met with you, this can be enough detail to identify your client to others. It can feel particularly compelling to post status updates about challenging cases, crises and traumas, clinical successes, or strong countertransference feelings. Remember that you do not want people checking your feeds for mention of themselves, their acquaintances, or out of voyeuristic curiosity. While it may feel like you are simply sharing aspects of your life, remember that this is confidential clinical care and HIPAA violations are ethical breaches subject to up to $250,000 in fines or imprisonment.

This issue has gotten more press recently as there have been several publicized cases of HIPAA violations on social networking sites. In October, 2009, New England Baptist Hospital banned employees from using social networking sites due to concerns that hospital workers were sharing too much about patient care. In June, 2010, a San Diego county hospital fired five nurses for discussing patient information on Facebook.

This is a major emerging professional challenge as social networking increases and sites continue to encourage frequent sharing of daily activities. At the same time, providers continue to have vague notions about the reach of their postings and whether they are sharing aspects of their own day or their client’s day.

Conclusion

This article covered a basic introduction to some of the issues that can come up for clinicians venturing into social media. Having a social media presence can be a highly rewarding experience, but it does require thought and care. For more comprehensive information about media psychology, I recommend perusing the references below. Of special note is the McGarrah, et al, piece: In the public eye: The ethical practice of media psychology [pdf] which provides more in-depth information and is essential reading for anyone venturing into media psychology.

References

Behnke, S. (2008, April).  Reflections on media ethics for psychologists. Monitor on Psychology, 46-47.

McConville, C. Hospital cuts off use of Facebook. Retrieved June 12, 2010 from http://news.bostonherald.com/business/healthcare/view.bg?articleid=1204514

McGarrah, N., Alvord, M., Martin, J., & Haldeman, D. (2009).  In the public eye: The ethical practice of media psychology.  Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 40, 172-180.

Recupero, P. R., Legal Concerns for Psychiatrists Who Maintain Websites. Psychiatric Services, April, 2006, Vol. 57. No. 4, 450-425.

Recupero P.R., E-mail and the psychiatrist-patient relationship. Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, 33:465–475, 2005 Retrieved June 15, 2010 from http://www.jaapl.org/cgi/content/full/33/4/465

Rutledge, P. What is media psychology? Retrieved, June 28, 2010 from http://mprcenter.org/?page_id=16

Stickney, R., Hospital will fire workers in Facebook scandal. Retrieved June 12, 2010 from http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/health/Hospital-Fires-Emps-in-Facebook-Scandal-95794764.html

Wynn, P. (2010, January/February). Brave New World of Social Media: Social networking is transforming the way medical students communicate with one another, but is online content meeting professional standards? The New Physician. Retrieved June 12, 2010 from http://www.amsa.org/AMSA/Homepage/Publications/TheNewPhysician/2010/0110SocialMedia.aspx

© 2010 Keely Kolmes, Psy.D.

To cite this page: Kolmes, K. (2010) An introduction to media psychology for bloggers and tweeters. Retrieved month/day/year from http://drkkolmes.com/2010/06/28/an-introduction-to-media-psychology-for-bloggers-and-tweeters.

Dr. Young and I thought we would share some of our musings about this with readers.

Dr. Young: After Dr. Kolmes and I exchanged information and thoughts about Google Buzz, I decided to investigate further how my social media boundaries might be affected. The lack of information from Google about privacy settings and Buzz led me to consider whether I needed to maintain a Google Profile and what its value is.

So I Googled myself!

I do this periodically and encourage anyone to do the same to gain information about your online presence. I saw that at the bottom of my search page Google was linking me to other people “In my Social Circle”, information apparently culled from other sites like WordPress (where I blog) and Twitter. It was not immediately clear whether this was information the general public has access to or only for my benefit.

[You may click on all images below to see larger versions.]

Dr. Kolmes: The results from People in Your Social Circle is similar to an issue I faced a year or so ago when a site called Delver was combing my professional LinkedIn profile and merging it with my non-professional accounts due to crossover of friend networks. This was the primary reason I decided to make my LinkedIn profile non-public. I don’t want search engines to put together a picture of my identity based upon my connections, and it feels invasive to me after the extensive work I’ve put into separating my professional and personal lives on the Internet. Google does provide information on how to change and troubleshoot Your Social Circle, but it can be time-consuming to have to constantly manage this information.

Dr. Young: Navigating social media as a psychologist, and a consumer, and determining ways to do so ethically is a challenge! What the Google Buzz debacle reminded me is that this is brand new and constantly changing territory. It is not enough for us as clinicians (or really anyone who needs to maintain a separate professional online presence) to create good practices and think that will be enough. We have to stay on our toes and educate ourselves about changes. It is crucial to have information about what is available in advance versus responding after the fact. I find it absolutely necessary to have other social media savvy mental health professionals to consult with.

Dr. Kolmes: I completely agree with Dr. Young that it’s essential to have other social media savvy professionals with whom to consult. It is hard to find other professionals who are venturing forth into social media with shared values and caution. I am very grateful for those with whom I’ve made a connection. I see people on the extremes: those who are highly critical and believe that any social media presence is de facto a dangerous thing that compromises therapy relationships; or others who are using social media in careless ways potentially compromising basic ethical principles. It’s hard to find professionals who are visible on social media but are applying a thoughtful, principled standard to such usage.

Providers of confidential services may want to carefully consider which Social Content they wish to merge in their Google Profiles. I opted to remove Twitter from my Google profile for my business, as I did not want people looking at my Google profile to see a list of my Twitter followers. You can do this by accessing the Social Content settings on your profile and then you can de-select content that you do not want added to your profile. I also disabled Google Buzz completely.

Dr. Young: Like Dr. Kolmes, this experience has me reconsidering how I move through the social media world and what sites I connect to each other. More recently Facebook is encouraging users to link to other external websites. We need to think before acting in such situations. We also need to continue to request that social media sites provide clear privacy policy information and settings.  I have also opted to switch from gmail.com to hushmail.com (which provides free and encrypted email services) for sensitive professional purposes.

I want to thank Dr. Young for taking the time to participate in this exchange with me and for alerting me to the People in Your Social Circle issue in the first place.

More and more sites are expanding the scope of their services to include social networking and sharing that their users never anticipated when they first signed up for the services. The latest such move is happening on Yahoo, where Updates will soon be broadcast to your Contacts, à la Google Buzz. You can find out more about how to opt-out of sharing on Yahoo, thanks to Kurt Opsahl over at EFF.org.

© 2010 Keely Kolmes, Psy.D.

To cite this page: Kolmes, K. (2010) People in Your Social Circle: Dr. Kathleen Young Chats with me About Social Networking Challenges for Clinicians. Retrieved month/day/year from http://drkkolmes.com/2010/06/07/people-in-your-social-circle-dr-kathleen-young-chats-with-me-about-social-networking-challenges-for-clinicians/.

Another change that will affect everyone is the change to Pages. On people’s profiles, the Pages section will now be folded into Interests and users will be asked to convert Pages into Interests.

To quote from the CNN article linked to above:

So what happens when you are asked to convert your Pages into Interests? Let’s take a look.

When I logged into my Facebook account last night, I was informed that they had “improved” the profile so that it links to Pages, and I was offered the opportunity to convert my Pages. I wasn’t given a No option. Simply Link All to My Profile or Ask Me Later.

You can click on all images below to view larger versions.

You’ll note that in the image, there is small print saying, Learn more. When I clicked on Learn More here is what I learned: I learned that this was a really great thing that was going to enhance my Facebook experience and make my life an overall happier place.

There was no clear or accessible information to learn more about a decision NOT to convert Pages or how to not have them show up or even how it might compromise my privacy to just go ahead and Convert All as I was being encouraged to do.

In order to remove the Pages, I had to go at it sideways. I went back to my profile and selected Edit Information when viewing my profile.

Here is where I was able to select or deselect the Pages and confirm whether I did, in fact, want them on my profile.

Since the privacy updates will now make you connected to others via a number of your interests, I unchecked the boxes next to these Pages, and was subsequently warned that this would create blank spots on my profile. Okay with me.

Back on my main profile page, I was given a message to explain why some of my information had disappeared.

It is disturbing that never once in the process was I given any information about how the changes would affect my privacy. There was no link to a privacy policy or statement about what this step would do. There was just subtle pressure to go ahead and make the changes and warnings that I was going to make myself a Facebook pariah by not having certain information on my profile.

So where is this information to be found?

If you click on Help Center under your account on the right side of the screen, you will be taken to the Help pages.

In the Help Center, on the far right, there is a statement about New Profile Connections and a link to where you can Learn more about the new Community Pages and profile connections.

When you click on that link to learn more, here is where all the information I should have received upon login was hiding:

And of course, you can click on each topic to expand it, and there is the information about how this will affect the content on your profile.

Lots of people use Facebook. But not everyone is tech-savvy. There are moms and dads on Facebook, young people who are not tech-smart, teachers, doctors, and just plain old people who care about their privacy now and then. Even folks who are tech-savvy shouldn’t have to hunt around for updated privacy information.

So come on, Facebook. When you make changes that influence privacy, the very first pop-up we see when we sign into your site shouldn’t be a link asking us to Convert our Pages to Interests. It should be a link to how the action you’re asking us to respond to right now is going to affect our privacy.

Some further changes to Facebook?

There’s a Wall posting that’s been forwarded by folks saying:

FACEBOOK is at it again…violating your personal information: As of today, there is a new privacy setting called “Instant Personalization” that shares data with non-facebook websites and it is automatically set to “Allow.” Go to Account > Privacy Settings > Applications and Websites and uncheck “Allow,” then confirm that you’re opting out. Please repost.

I followed this path, and sure enough, here is what I saw:

When I clicked on “Allow” to deselect it, here’s the message I saw:

More information about how I may be depriving myself of a “richer” Facebook experience and the disclaimer that even opting out will not prevent my friends from sharing this information with others. Again, how come I had to be notified about this by my friends, Facebook, and not the service itself? Shady.

If you’re a mental health professional trying to keep a low profile on Facebook, you might consider emptying your profile of information you don’t want to share with people you are not directly connected to. Or, you may wish to also remove Pages/Interests from your profile to reduce the likelihood of being connected to others. A new option is becoming available which allows you to hide this information on your actual profile–again something I discovered through active searching but not made clear to me at any point during login.

A number of folks are talking about committing Facebook suicide. As we enter a new world in which our privacy is compromised without our notification, I can see the appeal.

Update, April 23

Kurt Opsahl at the Electronic Frontier Foundation also offers some detailed information on How to Opt Out of Facebook’s Instant Personalization.

One last note from me. A lot of folks recommend that you choose “Only Friends,” for many of your privacy settings. As I say to my colleagues, when it comes to Social Media, I am equal mixes of conservative, paranoid, yet adventurous. The paranoid part of me would like to recommend that you click on “Custom” for many of these settings and choose “Only Me,” for many of these settings if you really want to limit what folks can see on your profile. Why not? If they are really your friends, they know this stuff about you anyway, right?

Please join our group: Bay Area Therapists Affirming of Diversity in Sexuality

This is a free group for mental health professionals in the Bay Area of California. We offer support, networking, and consultation for Bay Area clinicians and mental health trainees who embrace the full range of sexual expression of consenting adults. Our respective practices explicitly welcome and serve clients who engage in alternative sexual behaviors and relationships, including kink and poly folks.

We offer an email list and meet every other month at a member’s office.

We are especially interested in reaching out to students who may not have mentors or support in their clinical programs around working with sexually diverse populations.  Most clinical programs encourage students to explore their cultural identities and offer student groups organized around ethnicity, religion, LGBT-identity, disability, or other cultural affiliations.

But students who are kink or poly-identified or who want to work with these populations may have a more difficult time identifying one another and forming such groups. Many schools still don’t recognize these alternative identities as deserving of non-biased care and respect. We are seeking to bridge this gap. We offer a safe space to connect with other mental health professionals who are affirming of the full range of diverse sexual expression.

Contact me at drkkolmes at hushmail dot com if you would like to get connected with us.

I will be facilitating a Singles Salon for bisexual and lesbian women in San Francisco with HersnHers Connexions and Betty’s List in the coming months. Read more for details:

Talking About Dating, Relationships, Sex and Romance

A Salon Series from Hers & Hers Connexions

Dr. Keely Kolmes, Facilitator

When

Sunday Afternoons, 4:00 PM – 6:00 PM
May 16th, June 20th, July 11th, and August 22nd

Where

Castro Neighborhood Location in San Francisco

Topics

- Flirting & Making Connexions
- First Dates
- Managing Multiples & Monogamy / Sex & Singlehood
- Dating Deal-breakers, Deal-sealers, and Matches That Make It

Registration Information & Cost

$40 Per Session – Registration Required
Call the “Betty’s List” office line 415-503-1375 to schedule one or more sessions. Each is limited in size.

Salon participants will meet once-per-month for a free-flowing facilitated conversation on being Single that provides the chance to talk, listen, learn and explore a key life experience. Single life comes easily for some but is a challenge for others.

Come share your dating experiences, learn and be supported in your journey. Sessions begin with informal mingling, followed by the facilitated discussion.

Option to bring food or beverage to share.

**Please note that this is not a psychotherapy, support, or counseling group.**

In the coming weeks, I plan to create a similar page for the posts that are more specifically geared towards demystifying therapy for consumers.

Last May, I decided to play around with Facebook ads, and as part of that, I created a Facebook Page for my private practice. It was an experiment and I posted as much on Twitter at the time, expressing some ambivalence and saying that I wasn’t sure if I would keep it up. I asked a few friends to help me beta test it, and over time some colleagues, students, and other folks have become Fans.

I always had some trouble with the term “Fans,” and I’ve blogged a bit about that here and discussed it in my Social Media Policy.

It occurred to me sometime in the past couple of weeks that it’s been ten months and it was time to re-evaluate. I think I’ve gathered enough data to determine that a Facebook Fan Page does not feel right for me or my practice.

My issues with the Page

I have always had mixed feelings about the Facebook Page because I worried that that it might invite clients to Fan me which could complicate the clinical relationship around boundaries and confidentiality. I also worried that it potentially exposed my personal life (friends, colleagues, and family who were Fans). I worried that if there were negative fallout, I’d feel that it had been my own doing (or undoing, as it were).

At the same time, as someone who writes about Social Media, I also wanted to carefully explore it to see if it was useful in any way.

Astute readers may have noticed that I’ve never placed a link on my website’s Contact sidebar to the Facebook Page (unlike with Twitter), primarily because I wanted the Page to bring people from Facebook to my website and not the reverse.

My experience

I haven’t encountered a single negative clinical experience with the Page since creating it. I’m pleased about this and think I’m fortunate to be able to quit while I’m ahead!

The worst that has happened is that some colleagues have questioned the wisdom of having such a Page, noting the mixed signals of having a Page that says “Become a Fan,” while limiting who can actually become a Fan.

I will never know what clients choose to keep unmentioned, but I will say that I have yet to have a client bring up my Facebook Page in a therapy session.

I also have never had a client become a Fan.

It’s certainly possible that some of the Fans of the page who I don’t recognize are clients who created a pseudonym to follow me, but I think that is highly unlikely.

Why delete it?

Ultimately, I continue to have mixed feelings about the Facebook Page.

I’m finding it to be more a source of worry than I’d like. I’m not convinced the Facebook Page adds any real value to my practice or my life from a marketing perspective or an engagement perspective. I’m also not sure that I’m offering anything new or novel on that site. Most of my professional conversations happen on Twitter, email, or on other forums for mental health professionals.

In addition, I’m not passionate about it. My energy is more invested in blogging on my own site, guest blogging, and posting on Twitter and other professional forums for therapists which reside on Ning or LinkedIn.

I engage with people on Twitter, but those conversations don’t happen directly on a page that I’m hosting, and hence and I feel more free to dip into the conversation when it moves me. With the Facebook Page, I’ve felt more responsibility to monitor who becomes a Fan or what’s written on my Wall to be sure I feel okay about everything posted there, and I find that a poor use of my time.

Thank you

I want to thank all the friends, colleagues, and supporters who helped me explore the Facebook Page in the first place and I want to remind you that if you do want to follow my blog postings or Tweets, you can always do so on my website or Twitter.

A planned termination

I plan to delete some posts over the next weeks and to delete the Facebook page entirely by the end of April, so you can all consider this a planned termination.

And if you are deeply sad about the deletion of my Page, then maybe we really do need to talk.

Please be aware of my upcoming training. And feel free to share the following announcement with anyone you think might be interested!

SFCP Community Members’ Professional Development Salon

The Web 2.0 Psychotherapist: The Therapeutic Relationship and Social Media

Some clinicians are hesitant about having a personal social media presence (e.g., Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter) but are beginning to explore having a professional social media presence for their psychotherapy practices. The current APA Ethics Code does not explicitly address our activities on the Internet. What does it mean to be “transparent” using social media as a clinician? How might it influence one’s clinical work? What boundary issues do clinicians need to be aware of when they create an online social media presence? What happens when clinicians and clients cross paths in online spaces? Lastly, how can we think about this analytically and bring these new experiences of the relationship into the work?

Speaker:
Keely Kolmes, Psy.D., Dr. Kolmes is a psychologist in private practice in San Francisco who writes and speaks on the intersection of clinical care and social media.

Discussant:
Robert L. Friend, M.D., SFCP Member and Faculty

Moderator: Renée Spencer, M.F.T., SFCP Community Membership Co-Chair

Preparation
In preparation for the Salon, Dr. Kolmes suggests that attendees use Google or another search engine to search for yourself. Please use quotation marks around your name and search for yourself in various formats depending upon names you use on the Internet. For example, she would do the following searches on herself:
“Keely Kolmes”
“Keely Kolmes, Psy.D.”
“Dr. Keely Kolmes”
“drkkolmes”

Thursday, April 8, 2010
7:30 to 9 PM
San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis
2340 Jackson Street, 4th floor Auditorium
San Francisco

Registration & Fees
This series is free to SFCP members, candidates, and community members. For others, the cost is $35 per meeting payable at the door. Attendance at the previous salons is not required.  Prior salons were recorded on DVD and can be borrowed from the library.  Pre-registration is encouraged but not required. RSVP to 415-563-5815 or to finance [at] sf-cp.org.

1.5 CME/CE credits (pending) for $15.00

The San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis is accredited by the Institute for Medical Quality/California Medical Association (IMQ/CMA) to provide continuing medical education for physicians. The San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis takes responsibility for the content, quality and scientific integrity of this CME activity.

PHYSICIANS: The San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis designates this educational activity for a maximum of 1.5 credits as listed for each individual program, AMA PRA Category 1 Credit(s). Physicians should only claim credit commensurate with the extent of their participation in the activity. This credit may also be applied to the CMA Certification in Continuing Medical Education.

LCSWs/MFTs: The San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis is a provider approved by the Board of Behavioral Sciences, Provider Number PCE623, for 1.5 credits on an hour for hour basis.

PSYCHOLOGISTS: Psychologists attending SFCP events approved for CME credits may report AMA PRA Category 1 Credit(s) toward their CE requirements and are now able to directly submit their verification letters at the end of each renewal cycle using the MCEP credit reporting form that can be found on the internet at: http://www.cpapsych.org/associations/6414/files/mcepaa/files/MCEP_Reporting_Form.pdf

REGISTERED NURSES: The San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis is a provider approved by the California Board of Registered Nursing, Provider Number 02677, on an hour for hour basis.

SFCP is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. SFCP maintains responsibility for this program and its contents.

Course Objectives:
1) Participants will develop a basic knowledge of Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and blogging and how they might be used as an adjunct to one’s practice.
2) Participants will learn how the current APA Ethics Code may be applied to Internet activities.
3) Participants will have the opportunity to engage in discussion about clinical boundaries and the potential impact of both therapist and client encountering one another out-of-session in online spaces.

Commercial Support: None

Faculty Disclosure: The following moderators and planning committee members have disclosed NO financial interest/arrangement or affiliation with commercial companies who have provided products or services, relating presentation(s) or commercial support for this continuing medical education activity: Keely Kolmes, Psy.D., Robert Friend, M.D. and Renee Spencer, M.F.T. All conflicts of interest have been resolved in accordance with the ACCME Updated Standards for Commercial Support.

I thought I would share with my blog readers my Five Dating Tips for Singles that I shared at the event last weekend:

1. Know yourself

Dating can often feel like one part clarity to two parts confusion. Learning more about your wants and needs can help turn that ratio around. Spend some time allowing yourself to dream and let go of previously held assumptions or the pictures other people have painted for you of what is ideal.

Do you want to date women, men, transfolk, any-or-all, or just whomever makes you feel happiest? Do you enjoy dating? Or would you prefer to focus on finding a serious relationship? Is dating even what you want to do right now? Don’t assume you should date just because you are single.

Do you like being monogamous or are you open to having multiple partners or romances? Are you seeking a traditional relationship or are you open to something less “standard,” such as living separately?

Allow yourself to think of what has worked for you in the past and what hasn’t worked so much. This will help you develop a clear picture of what you want now, and when that picture gets clear, it will be easier to communicate that vision to others who may want to be in it. You may be surprised to find that if you take some space and really think about it, the script you’ve followed before may not be the right dating script for you today.

2. Evaluate whether you are creating space for what you want

Getting clear on who you are and what you want is one thing. It’s another thing to take an honest look at whether you are allowing room in your life to find what you want. This can be a good thing to check in with your friends about. Are there things that keep you from connecting to others?

Some things that came up in my talk last week that can frequently get in the way of dating included kids, work, hobbies, exes or other relationships, and other passions which take up time and space. All of these things are good, but is there balance? You may want to see if you need to clear out some space to allow a new sexual intimacy or romance to bloom in your life. Re-evaluate periodically to be sure you’re dividing up your time the way you like. This could even mean noticing that you’re spending more time and energy on dates than you want to be, and you may need to adjust so that it feels more like pleasure than a mission.

3. Learn to understand your dating plan or style

Some people love using personal ads to meet people. Others prefer getting out to events and organized activities in order to meet new folks. Some people like physical activities like sports, dancing, or excursions while others like events focused on talking and conversation. Others may like just getting out in the world in less organized ways or going to bars or clubs. These preferences can depend a lot on such attributes such as shyness, introversion, or extraversion.

Think about how you have met friends and dates in the past. Now may be a time to shake up your routine and try something new or to fully embrace your style and recognize your preferences. Think about how you like to plan dates: do you prefer to take the lead or do you like another person to suggest activities or surprise you? Do you like to stay in your comfort zone on first dates or do something new to you?

This is also a good time to figure out how many dates a week you have the stamina for. One? Two? More? With how many different people? Do you need to make a decision about the potential of a new person quickly or does it take time for you to figure out if something can be more than a friendship? Are you comfortable with your pace and can you allow yourself to respect it? These are all important things to know about yourself before venturing into the dating waters.

4. Get clarity on what you can and can’t live without

Sit down and think about which qualities matter to you most in a date or a life partner. Make a list of things that you know you can’t do without. Make a similar list of things that are deal-breakers that would send you running in the other direction. There may also be things that you are more flexible about. What are they?

In your first drafts of these lists, allow yourself to be impulsive. You can re-evaluate later and some yes or no items may later move to the maybe zone. Think about whether chemistry or emotion ever leads you to ignore what you know you need or want. This may be a good question to ask some of your closest friends about too. They may have observations about your dating choices or style that are useful to hear. Friends can also help you keep your head and think about whether you discount people for superficial (or more “maybe” reasons) when they have a lot of the qualities on your “must have” list.

5. Check your responses

Are you finding that you are responding strongly to rejection or missed connections? Do you get disappointed often in dating? Are you having any fun? If you find that you are frequently in conflict with others on dates or that it feels like work or a bad time overall, it may be time to put things on pause and take more time to reflect on what’s blocking you. Remember that primal issues and emotions and even past traumas can get strongly tapped in in dating and relationships. If this seems to be a theme, you may want to consider therapy to help clarify what is in your way and help you get on track.

And remember that new relationships can also benefit from therapy! People do not need to wait until a relationship is in trouble to learn to develop healthy ways of communicating and handling conflict. New couples sometimes go to therapy to learn how to plant the seeds for a more fulfilling relationship. So if you find someone in your dating adventures who is worth hanging onto, be open to putting some work into the relationship in the beginning. I will offer Tips for New Couples in a future blog post!